It's very weird that I feel such joy doing things that were once hard, but yet still find working Julio in familiar settings difficult. I don't understand it, but I feel so weird. I think it's because people see me and don't understand why I'm concentrating on my work and working Julio, instead of talking all the time. But I need to spend the time making sure things are going well for both of us because this relationship is really important.
I feel guilty, because sometimes I wish things were back to normal. I don't understand why I do. I mean, Julio is great! But I just get so stressed!
I'm feeling very tired today, and wish I could go back to bed. I need to find a good back pack and a maybe a fanny pack or something to keep things such as cell phone, wallet and keys in.
I need to be ready for school, but feel so fatigued that that is doubtable. At least I have tomorrow.
I want to be the friend I need to be and want to be, but am finding myself introverted today.
Somehow, I think it's the weather. I know I'll feel better when it's sunny. I also wonder if I need to eat and nap and then just get out of the house. that'll help some too.
School should bring some more meaning to my days, and I will be back among familiar territory.
I'll also be in a writing class, and will see tangible results such as a story, a paper, an article or something else.
Well, I should go.
Hugs!
Nickie
