Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby

Checkin' in: Progress, Problems and Potential

Yeah, that's right, it's time for me to check in. I'm not necessarily doing these check-ins every week, but rather I'm just doing it when I need to. That means when I struggle, or have something good to report. There's some of both in this entry, so I can't categorize this as a happy or frustrated or confused entry. But at least I'm posting this and being honest, which is what's important.


Drinking water is still hard. I am doing a better job, but still not as well as I'd like. It's one of those things I know I should do, but it's hard to do. I have some of those powders you can mix into a bottle of water to flavor it, but I haven't actually used them. I really should. But I don't. I'm not sure how to motivate myself to do it. Maybe I should start looking for benefits of water and ways to motivate myself to do it. Honestly, a big issue is nausea. If I don't want to eat or drink, water is last on my list to care about. Carbonation helps my nausea, and water seems to make it worse. So that's where I am with water.

Healthy food is actually doing well. I've added more fruit, and started asking for it specifically with my coffee or at lunch. I'm eating yogurt, and actually find I'm really bummed that I'm out right now. I even ate a salad today, which is one of those "When hell freezes over" items. I'm not ready to make drastic changes, but I feel like these are positive changes so far. I will do what feels right for me, and I'm happy that fruit, yogurt and healthy stuff feels right. I've even seen yogurt help with my nausea. And yes, I'm aware that that is an oposite reaction to what you'd expect.

Physical therapy is going pretty well. I'm getting stronger by the week. My physical therapist has even gotten me to start using my left leg when I go up stairs again. I'm alternating legs as I go up stairs for the first time in about two years. I never thought that would happen. I'm still scared of going down stairs, I still don't have the muscle control for that. I'm getting to where I tolerate the desensitization better, and may even be ready to switch to a new material in a week or so. I haven't decided of what I think of the electrical stimulation stuff, but I'm using the unit on a trial basis. That's good. I can at least decide whether it's worth the effort.

Finding new therapies which will decrease my pain is still going with the counseling and PT stuff. That said, I think my current med regimen is somewhat helpful. I still don't like where I am, but maybe I can make progress with all of the other areas and maybe that will help my pain. I guess right now, I'm frustrated that my pain is still so high. But I'm hopeful that there are things I can do to improve my life.


I'm doing well with the goal of blogging emotional responses to life so far. If I don't blog it publicly (like with the letter to my body), I do write privately.. Encouraging myself to do this kind of thing has been helpful. I'm happy that I'm finally using my writing to help me respond to life again.

I'm still working with counseling, and am finding it incredibly helpful. I'm glad to have someone to explore emotions, reactions and experiences with. I can't do it alone, and sometimes it's vital to have someone who can ask the right questions.

I haven't done as much as I'd like to on the new mindbody skill front. I'm still in the planning stage, really trying to decide what the best choice is.

I'm still struggling to fit relaxation into my schedule and sensations. For multiple reasons, I've found relaxation difficult. But I like the idea suggested on the How to Cope with Pain blog that I try doing relaxation in really small pieces at first to get back into the habit of doing relaxation. I have started practicing my mini-skills to deal with pain. I have been focusing on being aware of what's happening in my body, and using small images or breathing into the pain do help me deal. That's great in class when I have severe breakthrough pain and it's still going to be 30 minutes before the medications will touch it.


I'm happy to say that prayer is starting to feel more like a conversation between me and God again. It is mostly me talking, but at least I'm not trying to give God the cold shoulder. I don't feel the anger about all that has happened to me as much as I did. And when I do, I am trying to tell God that I'm angry and be honest about that. That works better. You'd think i would've learned that by now, but I'm stubborn. Still, this is progress, even if it does feel like I've been here before. At least I'm heading in the direction I want to be heading now.

Bible-reading has honestly fallen behind because of the sleep issues, the reading I need to get done for internship and school. I do try to fit it in, but I often don't succeed in reading something every day.

As you've noticed, the grattitude journal is not happening as it should. I'm thinking about a couple ways of doing this more as I go than creating the huge blog post at one sitting. I just now realied that
could probably help with this. I could even use
Twitterbr>Gotta love brainstorming as I blog!

I've tried to encorporate spiritual writings into what I read. I'd like to actually finish a book sometime this century, however.


I've been pretty successful at posting more than once a week. Even when that means that one of those posts is my check-in post, I like that that allows me to keep a decent momentum going. I like the positive aspects of blogging, and have really enjoyed the time I spend writing. I think it gives me better access to coping skills because it's one place where I really think about situations. You've seen this in this post, where I was able to think of possible ways to get my grattitude journal entries written. This happens quite frequently, though it's usually edited more effectively.

Writing that letter to my body was one topic which was scary.. I really am not sure what others think about it. It's one of those things which can be positive, or can go poorly. I don't really know what many others think, but I'm glad I wrote it.

Comment responses have been poor this week. I am truly sorry for that. I am hopeful that when things settle down, I will be more successful about replying to comments.


I'm not breaking this down so much, simply because this week has been pretty productive, but I'm not ready to reveal why. Let's just say that positive things may happen soon. I will say that I got the FAQ document up, and I got the section for the reviews added to. If you haven't seen Denise's review at Flamingo House Happenings, go check it out, it's linked in the sidebar.


One thing which has been incredibly clear this week is that I can't do it all all of the time, but that I will eventually succeed at most of these goals. It just won't happen at the same time. One week, I may succeed at healthy eating and book stuff, the next may be relaxation and Bible reading. What I do know is that I'm not going to feel too bad that I can't do it all. This is a long list of goals. Manageable, but not all at the same time. Overall, I'm happy with this week's progress, and welcome any feedback!
Tags: 2008 goal check-ins

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