But officer...: One year, I was at the yearly state conference for high school students of my denomination. We'd left the hotel to go get food, but we were running late. As usual, a few of us thought it would be fun to get there faster (we always wanted to do things on the wild side). The adult leader (who is one of my good friends), informed us that she didn't want a speeding ticket. I suggested that she let me drive.
Obviously, that could have posed some problems. The white cane and whiteish -blue eyes might have given away the fact that I'm blind, even if the driving didn't. And it still wouldn't solve the possibility of a speeding ticket. Ever the problem solver, I told the group it would be no problem. "We'll be fine. If we get pulled over, I'll just say 'But officer, I can't see the speedometer.'" I said this while twirling my hair around my finger, in case you're wondering. Oh, and don't forget the flirtatious voice.
April Fool's: I was a student journalist in my high school's newspaper for two years. The second year, my senior year of high school, we published an April Fool's edition. I've always written more personal articles, and focused less on the entertainment articles. So, I thought hard about what I could contribute. The articles about new editions to the school, new foods served in the cafeteria and other controversial articles weren't my usual style and I didn't think I could pull them off. So, I decided that my usual stand-by, driving, could be helpful. The article, which I don't have an electronic copy of anymore, described my experience applying for a driver's license. If you're curious, I succeeded through creative use of Julio (cutting a whole in the back of the driver's seat and teaching him to lick in the direction I need to go), faking balance problems (which would allow me to go sighted guide without people realizing I was) and memorizing the order of the eye chart were the ways I "accomplished" this goal.
Smokin': Ever since going on mission trips to Kentucky, I've always been known for interesting uses of candy cigarettes. But a few days ago, I decided to have more fun. I haven't seen these around here, but somehow, I got a box llast weekend at a convention. The relief area for Julio is just past a non-smoking patio outside of my building on campus. Saturday night, I grabbed a candy cigarette and had a smoke while relieving the dog. Sadly, it didn't seem to matter to others, but I still had fun.
If you think these stories are boring, you're probably right. But they're fun for me, and I look forward to the day when I can influence others and fight the law in more positive ways, such as advocating for myself and my clients. When that day comes, I just might write about it here. Until then, watch the speed limit, guard your license and obey the signs.