Today was my birthday and I wanted to write down how wonderful it was. Honestly, I started out not feeling great. My body was rebelling from the huge amount of medication changes I've done in the last week, and I was up quite a bit last night. Consequently, I ended up sleeping most of the morning away. Luckily, I got better through the afternoon, and by 4 PM, I felt pretty decent.
We went to Olive Garden for dinner, and it was a good group. We had 11 of us, including some of my friends and my family. I'd been feeling bummed about the fact that I turned 21 today, which is when it's legal to drink in my part of the world. It pretty much felt like one more way in which RSD has stolen control from me. I always want control, and I don't like to think about all of the ways my life has changed in the 4 or so years since I got RSD. When I do, I want it to feel more victorious.
So, anyway, we all went to Olive Garden, which has a Braille menu, which includes the wine list, mixed virgin drinks and great food. I tried a little bit of a Chateau Saint Michelle Reesling. Does someone want to figure out how you're supposed to spell that and post it in the comments? It's a sweeter wine, and I guess I can understand that concept now. The thing was, I couldn't drink much, with all of my medications, but I seriously doubted that a few sips were going to kill me. I did, apparently, make some interesting faces while I tried my first sip of that, but especially my sneaked sip of someone's house wine.
I can honestly say, I can understand how one would get interested in the various flavors of wines, it seems kind of like the way I critique coffees. But I feel fortunate to have the ability to say "okay, that's enough." before I do any damage to myself.
The rest of the night was great. It was so fun to hang out with everyone and share this experience. Everyone there knew what that night meant to me, and eased that burden. As one friend said on our way to get tea "you kicked RSD in the butt tonight."
It still sucks to have RSD. But the night was powerful in that I was able to take back the control from the RSD. With the nummy orange cream soda I drank for the rest of the night, I didn't feel like I was missing out. I've never been one to want to drink and make a fool out of myself. And I think I managed to get through the night with my usual lack of class and huge amounts of fun. And I was able to include some of the many people who hold special places in my life (not nearly as many as I'd love to have invited, but that would've been completely overwhelming).
To those who stopped by physically or virtually to make the day special, thank you, you succeeded!