Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby
puppybraille

  • Music:

How to Save A Life

For some reason, I've been captivated by the song "How To Save a Life" by the Fray. It's very poignant, but I've never been good with poetry. So my reflections are probably wildly off the mark. But it made me think, as a social worker, will I have the chance to save a life? Will there be ways in which I can intervene? And, even more mind-boggling, will I ever cause the opposite to happen?

I was once on a suicide prevention team at school. I hadn't experienced pain like this. I didn't understand chronic stuff like I do now. Now that I've experienced it, I've been lucky in that I have resources, people to lean on. I've never quite hit the edge. I've always been able to seek help before things got that bad. But I wonder, in the way that I now seek out people who have experienced pain or chronic conditions, or people who really understand, will people who are severely depressed or suicidal be repelled by the thought that "I couldn't possibly understand."

And if I do go into chronic pain or medical social work as my field of practice, I will encounter people who are struggling. Will I have what it takes to save a life?

As I'm getting closer to next year's field placements, I'm getting more nervous. Remember how nervous I was about getting a guide dog? I'm feeling that way. I haven't signed up for classes, and I'm already nervous... Yesterday, for example, after eight hours of being up for classes, I was pretty shot, then went to a meeting. I don't know that I can handle a full day like that and do a good enough job at social work. And this is where the "what if I make a mistake?" thoughts slam me...

I think I will go deal with these concerns the only way I can. I wrote, now I'll pray, then I'll get the pain down to a level where I can think straight (below a 7.5 perhaps? "Inconceivable"). I will use relaxation techniques, then finish cramming for tomorrow's test.

Oh, and the other thing, when I was on that team, I was just supposed to listen and help the person get to an adult who could help. Well, now I'm technically an adult...

Tags: social work
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