Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby
puppybraille

Just a few words

One of the hardest things about dealing with the junk going on with my foot is finding something to hope for. It is so easy to become discouraged, and feel as though nothing will ever get better. When I have a lot of pain, I can only think of the pain. My thoughts are stuck on the fact that "something is wrong."

Don't believe me that pain can send that message to your body, get one injury. Your first reaction when you're in pain is to fix the cause. My problem is that i don't know how to fix that cause. I don't know what will make it better. I don't always even believe it will get better. So it's hard to keep a hopeful attitude.

It's surprising to me how easy it is to give someone hope, though. A simple word like "good job" when I've finished an exercise or an act like letting me graduate to a new color of resistance band tells me that something is getting better. It's hard to deal with this much pain, to be honest. I don't like the pain I feel and the message ttelling me something is wrong. But there are things that make it easier.

For the first time, I'm seeing progress. My physical therapist is doing a great job of being a "mirror". I can't see how well I'm doing. I don't see that something looks more controlled. So it really matters when someone tells me that. It really makes a difference. When I have bad pain now, I still get incredibly discouraged. But just knowing that I'm making progress, that I've moved up, even if it doesn't feel like it has given me incredible hope that maybe things can be more manageable.
Tags: chronic pain, hope, physical therapy, surgery
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