Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby

Turning the tables

It's definitely frustrating to wake up to the feeling of your foot being angry about the blankets, the matress and anything else that dares to encroach uppon it's precious territory. I don't like how my body is responding to the pain and how I'm handling my sleep schedule (face it, when you wake up at 5:30, it's hard not to nap during the day, but that becomes a vicious cycle). But I'm trying to turn this into a more positive experience. It's to early to chat online because I don't know who's awake, but it's never to early to read, think and reflect.

I'll admit, my brain is *very* foggy right now. I'm sure part of that is related to medications. But I think there are benefits to "checking in" with myself and my Creator. I have yet to find a completely fool proof way of handling this time when it happens, but I'm hoping to learn more. Writing, even if it's just a public entry, seems to help me think more clearly and pray. There is a strong difficulty in learning to turn the negative into the positive, but I'm trying to get there.

Questions raised in class last night made me think about my faith. I think faith is something that grows slowly with questions and answers which raise more questions. It's a constantly changing perception of who we are and our relationship to God. It's so paradoxical that although God never changes, we do, and the way we see Him changes along with us. I am spending 4 years trying to get a liberal arts education, trying to see more puzzle pieces in this thing called life, but I can never understand God fully. Sometimes, that's hard to accept, and sometimes (like right now), it's very comforting.

Okay, I'm probably rambling and making absolutely no sense, but take what you can from this.

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