Our professor brought up developmental/disability issues again. He talked about how "normal" is not always right for everyone. Then he brought up the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time and mentioned a line somewhere in the middle of the book which said something to the effect of "People call me "special", isn't everyone"? I'm paraphrasing here. The class was a little more interesting than usual. Then came the infamous tickling issue. I was so uncomfortable for that. I was afraid I'd get tickled in the process.
Because my sociology professor forgot the video we were supposed to watch, we got out early. I came back here for a lunchable because I was shaking from a need for more food. Yes, I ate breakfast, no, it wasn't enough. We got lost on the way to usic, which I should probably have expected (we were coming from a different direction), but this time I stayed calm. Every time I wanted to freak, I took a deep breath. It helped, I got my bearings and we continued on to the music building.
Music was good, we reviewed several concepts and I felt better about things. Then we went downstairs and I got to see a harpsichord. I knew the definition from my Franklin Language Master, but I didn't really remember seeing one. It's really cool, like a piano, only it sounds different and playing it feels different with more resistance. It was really neat to add something to my perceptions of what things look like.
Lunch was amazing, but we think there was something going on. We've never seen things quite that fancy. I don't care, it was still amazing.
I've been here, chilling, getting things done and trying to khelp keep the pain at a minimum. I know that at some point, I need to figure out a way of managing things better. I like where I am better than earlier this week, but I also know that it won't be possible to function as well at this level forever. I'm feeling slightly more optimistic about the likelyhood that we can make this successful someday, but I don't know when that will be. I wonder if there is anything more I can do to help myself through this. I don't want a repeat of earlier this week ever. I have heard some success stories with biofeedback, but don't know how accessible that would be for me. I also think managing my stress levels/responses to stress will help. I've even thought of visiting the campus counseling center just to see if they can either give me a place to bounce these ideas off of someone with experience in this area, or if they can help me learn to manage some of this. I don't know if I will follow through with that or not though. Some of these things will get easier with time I suspect. It's similar to how I've gotten better at describing my pain levels and what brings them on. I can manage my responses the same way. This can happen both spiritually and emotionally.
Alright, I'm going togo for now.