Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby
puppybraille

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Well, today, my body feels terrible! I have two ear aches at the same time, a wisdom tooth bugging me, a soar foot and a huge misqueto bite that itches amd makes my arm feel like it's on fire. However, I do feel pretty happy! I mean, I've had my share of ticked moments this weekend, but honestly, I'm pretty happy. I sit there and look at what I feel bad about, or why I'm a worthless person, and then I counter it with something I've done that's good, or something I can be proud of. I remind myself that I have friends, and that makes me feel better.
I've done a lot of reading, and that's made me feel incredibly happy. Reading is great because I lose myself in the book. It's bad though 'cause I lose myself, and I've been reading some depressing stuff! Ugh! I tried to find something to make myself smile, and didn't succeed. But I keep thinking of all of you guys out there and I figure you've all faced those wierd times when you can't pull yourself out of a book, so I'm hoping anyway. Maybe you guys won't think I'm wierd!
One thing I have to say about this weekend, I discovered that I can handle the stuff of not driving. I got to drive the Gader around, so now I know what that is. I don't feel like I'm not as good as the other kids because I can't anymore. I mean, I know that blindness doesn't make me a bad person, but I was afraid that not knowing how to drive would make me not able to understand my friends this summer and especially even this spring, but now I know that I can handle it, and it'll be fine. I can understand the driving process. That's pretty cool!
I'm also thinking about how wierd some things in life are, but how after a while, you look at them, and realize that you like how they changed you. Like going on a mission trip last year. I never would've thought of it as something that would boost my slef-esteem, but it did. Some parts were hard, like the heat and having to drink water and being in a different setting all of the time, but I gained confidence. I gained the confidence to believe that my friends didn't just hang around 'cause I was blind and they pitied me. I was able to come out of my shell, and be the kind of person I like myself to be. I'm still not that person all of the time, but I'm her more of the time! It's awesome to see how that changed me, and the Nickie I like came out of hiding.
Okay, that's enough self-analysis for one night! I've gotta quit that!
If I'm gonna quit typing, I need to read so I won't scratch that bite. I'm a mess over here. If I go back on the pain killers for my foot, you'll all have hilarious reading. It'll be interesting to see if I speak English!

Hugs!

Nickie
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