I'm still having a hard time vocalizing my feelings though. I was talking to a friend, I still don't know if he knows about Dakota. How can I tell him? And why can't I vocalize this stuff? Why can't I write my questions? This is the same thing that happened two years ago. I didn't want to face that I was angry. Well, I'm not angry, I don't know what I am, but I fear that if I let my questions out they'll hurt me or someone else. I know that's not true, but I still feel that way. Maybe I'll just get up the courage to admit that I don't know why I have to go through the death of my dog, and I don't like it, and it still hurts when I think to myself "Oh, I'll just take a break and play with..." Or "Oh, I should go wake up..." Or stuff like that. I'm glad I'm not numb, but it's still hard when I feel as if given the oppertunity I'd start to cry. I feel like I want to find some way to let out all of that sadness.
Well, I should go!