Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby

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I'm really dizzy. I'm not sure why or what to do about it. If it's this bad tomorrow, I'm going to have to figure out why. I'm hoping sleep will help.
The floor meeting wasn't bad, and the philosophy discussion wasn't bad either. Over all, good day!
I'm feeling much more calm. No, I don't want to have the sympathetic block, but hey, maybe it will help. If it'll help me, it's worth the procedure. It's just so weird and it made me feel very exposed... I know that it's okay, but it's just awkward for me. Hopefully, I can keep my humor... I'll just ask them not to show me the needle. I'm going to be fine. I need to think of it like a soldier, I'm fighting the RSD, all means are necissary. I also need to remember I've survived it once before. And I need to trust. I trust the doctor, after two years of pain, and spending much of that time receiving injections from this doctor, I know he does great work. I also know that he is on the patient's side and doesn't do procedures that are unnecissary. I also need to trust God and know that He'll get me through it. I find that's much harder. Man, I feel awful for admitting that. But it's true, and it's one of the things I hate about myself. I really want to trust this time. I'm so tired of falling into the same old "Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna die I'm so scared", patterns. I feel like I'm growing in this area, but I just don't know... Still, I'm going to try.
I just realized that it's been a week since I full blown cried. That's a record for the past month or so. Must have been the Neurontin. That's what I thought, but it was validating to see this.
I'm so excited for tomorrow's dance. I'm going to have fun. A friend is coming, and I think it will kick butt. Then, the weekend comes and it's time to study. Finals is coming up fast. How did I manage to forget how hellish the last parts of quarters and semesters are?

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