I think I've decided to ask if I can get off Neurontin. I don't think it's fully responsible for how awful I feel, but I think it may be part of the problem.
I've decided that I again need to work on the whole taking care of myself thing. It's not that I'm intentionally doing stupid stuff. But I think it's important for me to just check in with myself more. How am I doing:
There are good reasons to do this. I think it might not be a bad idea to just ask myself those questions once in a while.
Now, I need to get ready for a meeting. I'm so glad I put on the Lidoderm. I may be exhausted at said meeting, but at least I won't want to kill someone because I'm in pain (not litterally).
I just had this Bible passage come to me.
Lamentations 3:19-36 The Message
It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God
19I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
20I remember it all--oh, how well I remember--
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
21But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
22GOD's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
23They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
24I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
25GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
26It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from GOD.
27It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
28When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
29Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
30Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
31Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
32If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
33He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:
34Stomping down hard
on luckless prisoners,
35Refusing justice to victims
in the court of High God,
36Tampering with evidence--
the Master does not approve of such things.
God is so good!