November 29th, 2006

Cut cuddle and be Cute

Difference of view

I sometimes forget how weird RSD is to the average sighted person, especially when they've never seen my foot and the special aesthetic qualities RSD brings to it. Today I walked into my friends' room, and their mother, who hnows me but has never seen my foot was pretty surprised.
Friends' Mom: You should sit down. That looks bad. It's so swollen.
Me (feeling my foot): This is a good day, and I'm fine.
FM: It's so swollen though.
Friend: It's just red today, not purple.
Me: It really is a good day.
FM: I'm a Mom, humor me.
Me: (sitting down): It really is a good day. I haven't needed Percocet at all this week, and I'm only at a five on the pain scale.

It's funny what I learned to adapt to as "normal". Because sighted people who I trust to look at the foot are used to its appearance by now, it's relative. I'm used to the swelling, and if I can comfortably wilgle my toes, It's a very good day.

One thing I didn't expect, but should have, was how painful the cold wind is. Last year, my RSD wasn't into my calf yet, so mostly the bad parts were covered by my shoe. Also, my touch sensitivity wasn't nearly as high (I don't like my foot near fans much anymore). That cold whndchill-producing wind is a killer.

I did register for classes, and I need people to drop some of them so I can get enough credits. Also, I'm still working on the pain management presentation for relaxation, since we didn't have class yesterday (I needed that extra day.)

I'm hoping to be able to write something good this weekend. I feel guilty that this bblog is turning more into just what I did today than anything. Not that that's a bad thing, but I haven't been able to work on the projects I wanted to lately. There are some good reasons for this, mainly school and pain, but I think this is feeding my current struggle. It's frustrating when you get a mental health screening, and answer yes to several questions, but realize they are all due to explainable, but relatively unchangeable factors.