On bad pain days, I tend to wear pollar fliece pants if I can. I thought that Julio just liked the pants, because he will tickle me when I'm feeling bad and wearing those pants. Well, apparently, it's not those pants. I was wearing cords and a t-shirt, and he was tickling me. He's been doing that ever since Sunday. That's when "the bovine feces hit the wind propelling apparatus" as Dad says and as far as pain is concerned. Things just aren't getting better, and I've tried to be relatively good, not doing more walking than I need to, but this week is not good for not walking. I have to. I have a mobility lesson in a little over 20 minutes, which I have to get because if I don't, I'll have a repeat of yesterday, but how am I going to walk that much? And then sit through a 3 hour class tonight?
The pain clinic just called, one of the nurses took down my symptoms and is going to talk to the doctor who made the original diagnosis back in Novemeber. She said I almost never call, and that Mom was right for making me (I always expect them to think I'm a wuss and don't want to speak out, especially since I know of people who have RSD in more places and more advanced than I do). Maybe they can help me. I'm still embarrassed that I had to call, but she was nice about it. I'm going to ask for prayers that they will find something to do that won't make me stupid for school, and that will help. Also, that I can make it through the next several hours. Sleeping tonight would be good, but I think that's probably asking too much.
Thanks to everyone who's checked up on me. I do really appreciate it.
Apparently, the doctor thought I should be seen tomorrow because of the severity in my pain and symptoms. So I have an appointment at 2, which translates to me having a tight connection or leaving class a bit early. This is not good, but the pain clinic doesn't have a ton of openings. I'm just going to have to pray that I don't miss any more classes because we're not supposed to miss more than three.
I had a good conversation with my prayer team leader about a lot of things. It was encouraging. Sometimes I feel like college, and especially this foot thing, is a vacuum sucking up all of my energy and emotions. It takes me a while before I trust. Thankfully, I've got a lot of support, including all of you who took the time to read these words. I don't know what I'd do without you!
I'm going to make up a sheet to take to the doctor and explain the symptoms I'm having. That should make the appointment more productive. I really don't want to come away from this feeling like I didn't have my concerns heard. But I also don't want to come off as pushy or overbearing. This is an unanswerable question, but why do I tend to feel guilty when I'm taking what could probably be considered a healthy assertive step?
With that, I'm of to finish a sandwich and head for theo.
I figured I'd try to write on the theology stuff we discussed in class today and generally explain that I did survive. This is, in my estimation, a positive thing.
We had to take a quiz which I took orally. It was the professor's idea, since the O'Neill center is closed after 5 and I would have to take the quiz at a different time. She figured it would save me some time, but also said that if I'd rather have it read in the O'Neill Center, that would be fine. I finished before two of the students, so I don't have a problem taking it orally. I did tell her that if I was ever holding the class up, she should tell me and we could arrange for other quizes to be taken at a different time in the O'Neill Center. That way, I wouldn't hold up the class.
Today's class was all about crises, what forms they take and how they are resolved. Basically, we talked about the form of a right of passage (which is similar to a crisis). First, there's the separation from something you no longer need. This can be sad, but also can be joyful or scary. Then, there is the liminality which is the period where you can't go back, but you're not sure how you'll go forward. Finally, there is the resolution where you are okay/comfortable with where you are in life. This lead me to think a lot about my own life, and what crises I've had, both good or bad. Going off to college has been a tough transition, and there are still things I wish I could change. I feel like I'm too dependent on family, but don't really know how I can change that. I know that part of this is my inability to walk for long distances. For instance, I would not have needed Mom's assistance with the medicine today if I could have safely handled the walk to the bus stop without increasing my pain levels even further. Anyway... I digress.
Then we watched this movie I think the title was something like Man, Woman, Child, and it was pretty good. I just like that class and that professor a lot. I finally figured out why I'm confused when I go out of Whitby with my newfound friend/partner in class. For some reason, I didn't remember that I needed to make a right turn. I can be such a dits sometimes, but that's okay, it gives me something to write about in LJ :p.
So now the trick is getting to sleep and staying that way. I'm not going to take bets on if that will actually happen.