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I'm extremely unsure of how to put thoughts down on paper right now. I don't know why. I really really want my own bed. I think i mentioned that college has felt kind of like camp for the past week? Well this must be my body saying "What the... I thought we'd be going home by now." I really really want to be going home. Actually, what I want is to be going back in time, back to last year when all I had to worry about was having a guide dog and figuring out how to use him... I can't believe I just wrote that! Okay, so maybe in some ways I don't want to go bad. But are there ever days when you just feel like you're tired of all of the adversity of life and you really have to remind yourself that God is actually in control and can take all of your emotions? I have a hard time sometimes, okay, lots of times admitting to him what he already knows. I don't understand that.
I just want to shine here, and I'm not doing that yet. I need to remind myself that God does have a plan in all of this. I also need to remind myself that he's here and I'm beautiful in his sight even on the bad days.
He'll be with me tomorrow too, I just need to remember that. For some reason, that's hard.


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Sep. 13th, 2005 12:10 am (UTC)
I felt like that the first time I was away from home for a long time. It got easier after a while. I guess I got used to it.
Sep. 13th, 2005 03:32 am (UTC)
It's hard to remember that God's in control; and that he's going to take care of us no matter what. I struggle a lot with this too... Just always remember if he brings you to it he'll bring you through it!!!

It will get easier... Eventually you do get used to being away from home. I felt the same way freshman year; and now I still like going home, but it's not an absolute must all the time.
Sep. 13th, 2005 04:03 am (UTC)
keep that head held high hotstuff....My couple weeks of college was rough too. So just remember that everyone is going through the same thing
Sep. 13th, 2005 05:17 am (UTC)
The camp thing is a common assessment. College is pretty much just that, an eight and a half month camp. You get used to the camp-like lifestyle, and come to enjoy it, but still. The feeling of being on your own but being taken care of all the same is there. You have set activities to do (classes and extra-curriculars), and you eat in a large group setting for almost every meal. It is very camp-esque, all the time. But one just gets used to it.
Sep. 16th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
Hang in there, sweetie. I remember feeling like I was at camp, too. It was fun for a couple of weeks and then began to hurt. I was 1,100 miles away from home, too! You will make it through this, and you will shine. Give God time and let perseverance complete its work in you!
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