Nickie Coby (puppybraille) wrote,
Nickie Coby
puppybraille

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Pain!

Today we had our return Sunday for ASP. It was good to remember. Then Dee and I had lunch at Applebees. It was nice to talk.
Honestly, I need people! I need to not bee stuck at home wondering about my foot. It's not doing me any good! As far as the foot goes, it hurts! Dang it hurts! I'm so tired of being strong and trying to be okay with it. I swear, if I could, I'd feel better in a minute, but I've prayed about it, and that's not what God is saying right now. Sure, he could heal me, but He hasn't. I just wish that I could feel as okay about it as I want to. I feel like I should accept it more easily, and be more able to handle it. I'm trying, but I don't know what's normal, and I don't know if I ever will know how I should handle it. Granted, there's no real prescribed method, but I wonder if there is something I should do to help myself handle it better. Right now, journaling helps me. Knowing that I can write about it, and that these are my thoughts helps a lot. For some reason, knowing that others can read it helps me. If I wrote to myself, I'd ly in it all the time! I'd probably be harder on myself, and sink into even more self pity.
Fore me, there is something very healing about writing. Sharing myself with others is truly what makes me feel alive. There are other things, but human interaction is what really heals me. After today, I feel so much better about myself. I feel like if I stay up until a normal bedtime, I'll sleep well, and awake calm.
It's amazing how calm I feel about tomorrow. I feel like I can accept what the neurologist says.

Well, I've talked a lot now, I'm going to go read and see if I can find something calming and that will build my faith.

Hugs!

Nickie
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