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Kicking the fear

It hasn't been a great week for me, lots of things I don't feel like writing about yet, but I think I'm getting through it. I've had somewhat of an odd experience which I'm not sure hoow to interpret. I also just want to write about it...

Sunday night, I was getting ready for bed. Coming out of the bathroom at my parents' house, I hit the doorframe with my right foot. I felt a pop and pain and it felt like my baby toe wasn't connected to my foot anymore. It didn't rank more than a four on the pain scale, but was hard to deal with because that was my good foot. I have also been through enough of a diagnosis hell with the RSD that I didn't feel like going to the doctor just to be told that there's nothing on the x-ray and come back if it doesn't get better. But the swelling kept going up and the pain wasn't improving like I expect from a bruise so we went to Urgent Care last night.

For once, there is objectivevidence that my toe hurts. There's a break which can clearly be seen on x-ray. I overheard the doctor and medical assistants and maybe a nurse talking about my x-ray and the first word was "Wow!" Of course all we can do is tape the toe to my other toe to splint it, but it's kind of nice to know that there's an injury that people will believe me about and there are ways to help it. It's sad when my need for validation is so strong, but it hurts so much to think that people don't believe you or blame you for how you feel.

Now my goal is preventing the spread of the RSD. Mainly this involves taking Vitamin C and using desensitive methods as well as relaxation, biofeedback and guided imagery. That fear of a spread of the RSD is always there, but I have to keep the anxiety controlled to keep my risk of spread low.

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jenandbronze
Feb. 12th, 2009 07:05 am (UTC)
Oh man, i hope that heals quickly! HUGS... virtually for now, at least we are at a distance, as I have a bug!
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