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Brain freeze

This week, managing the pain has been a 24 hour job. I've slept, though not amazingly well. I've eaten, but had to wrestle the nausea. I've walked, but done so with a limp. The pain is distressing enough, but the difficulty in getting my head to work around it is hard. And that means coming up with things to write is challenging.

I am learning a lot of biology, which is also challenging stuff for me. And I'm learning a lot about myself, and my ability to handle things. It's just hard to get my mind out of the "It hurts darn it" mode. And that bothers me. I'd love to be able to respond to things I've read.

I've recently heard that people think Americans use our health care system as a status symbol. That bothers me. I don't go to the doctor any more than I have to. Although I have wonderful doctors, I don't want to see them bad enough to request medical help any more than necessary. And although the only risk of death from this disorder would be suicide (which I am not and haven't ever thought was the right answer to this problem), at some point I have to ask for help.

It bothers me so much that some of my sisters and brothers with this disorder have to go without the medications they need, or the procedures and treatments that could help because they can't afford them and someone has decided that they should "suck it up." That is not a call for any of us to make. I believe that twenty years from now, we'll know more about pain and understand its effects better. But right now, it's subjective. But it's subjectivity doesn't make it any less real.

If I feel this trapped with a flare, and yet know I can call the pain clinic if I need them, I can't imagine how awful it would be to not have anyone to turn to. I don't know where all of that came from... but I'll note here that "I'm Funny Too" at "Did I Miss Something" posted
this perspective on the health care plan.
With something as important as health care, is it really a question of legeslating morality? I don't think there are many people who intentionally try to take up resources. But mostly, people may not be educated on what can and should be discussed with the doctor, what needs medications, what needs home treatment and what is actually normal, not concerning. That said, there are enough people who will go the other way and not go to the doctor. There are people like my grandma, who was an amazing woman. She walked around on a broken hip for three weeks. I'd say that is not a case of over use of the health care system.

Painting with a broad brush is tempting, but won't always give the best results on a deversified surface. Okay, I'll stop ranting. I just had to get that off my chest.

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